What Every BODY is Saying (Joe Navarro and Marvin Karlins)

A book basically on body language written by an ex FBI agent.  It doesn't help you to tell if someone is lying but it does give clues on how to tell if someone is comfortable or uncomfortable in a specific situation.

Some of the usual signs and signal and some very interesting tips that have made me look at people in a new way (the most important is to leave the face to last as people are most adept at faking facial expressions, the rest of their body gives more clues)

Loc. 530-31  Freezing your movement can often make you nearly invisible to others, a phenomenon every soldier and SWAT team operator learns.....The same behavior is observed when an individual is being questioned about matters that he or she perceives could get them into trouble. The person will freeze in his chair as if in an “ejector seat”

Loc. 592-96 The person may also distance herself from someone by leaning away, placing objects (a purse) on her lap, or turning her feet toward the nearest exit. All of these behaviors are controlled by the limbic brain and indicate that someone wants distance from one or more undesirable persons or any perceived threat in the environment. Again, we undertake these behaviors because, for millions of years, humans have withdrawn from things we didn’t like or that could harm us. Therefore, to this day, we expedite our exit from a deplorable party, distance ourselves from a bad relationship, or lean away from those who are deemed undesirable or even with whom we strongly disagree

Loc. 635-37  the “prime directive” of the limbic brain is to ensure our survival as a species. It does this by being programmed to make us secure by avoiding danger or discomfort and seeking safety or comfort whenever possible. It also allows us to remember experiences from our past encounters and build upon them

Loc. 727-31 For our purposes, any touching of the face, head, neck, shoulder, arm, hand, or leg in response to a negative stimulus (e.g., a difficult question, an embarrassing situation, or stress as a result of something heard, seen, or thought) is a pacifying behavior. These stroking behaviors don’t help us to solve problems; rather, they help us to remain calm while we do. In other words, they soothe us. Men prefer to touch their faces. Women prefer to touch their necks, clothing, jewelry, arms, and hair.

Loc. 883-85  In fact, these age-old reactions are still so hardwired in us that when we are presented with something dangerous or even disagreeable, our feet and legs still react as they did in prehistoric times. First they freeze, then they attempt to distance, and finally, if no other alternative is available, they prepare to fight and kick.

Loc. 907  When it comes to honesty, truthfulness decreases as we move from the feet to the head.

Loc. 1009-12 Usually this hands-on-knees gesture is followed by a forward lean of the torso and/or a shift of the lower body to the edge of the chair, both intention movements. When you note these cues, particularly when they come from your superiors, it’s time to end your interaction; be astute and don’t linger.

Loc. 1079-81 the more advantaged we are socioeconomically or hierarchically, the more territory we demand. He also found that people who tend to take up more space (territory) through their daily activities also tend to be more self-assured, more confident, and of course more likely to be of higher status.

Loc. 1105-6  Leg crossing, then, becomes a great way to communicate a positive sentiment.

Loc. 1522-26 At seminars I frequently ask the question, “How many of you were dressed by your mother today?” Of course everyone laughs, and no one raises his hand. Then I say, “Well, then, you—all of you—chose to dress the way you did.” That is when they all look around them and, perhaps for the first time, realize that they could do a better job of dressing and presenting themselves. After all, before two people first meet, the only input each has to go on about the other is physical appearance and other nonverbal communications. Perhaps it’s time to consider how you are being perceived.

Loc. 1865-67  One of the employees pointed out to me that ticket agents can often identify passengers who will become problematic by how wide they position their arms when they are at the counter. From that day forward I have looked for this behavior and have witnessed it countless times during confrontations.

Loc. 2232-33 Thumbs in the pocket indicate low status and confidence. People in authority should avoid this display because it sends the wrong message.

Loc. 2421-22  We miss facial cues because we have been taught not to stare and/or because we concentrate more on what is being said than on how it is being said.

Loc. 2546-47 Eye blocking with the hands is an effective way of saying, “I don’t like what I just heard, saw, or learned.”

Loc. 2625-27 As a general rule, dominants tend to ignore subordinates visually while subordinates tend to gaze at dominant individuals at a distance. In other words, higher-status individuals can be indifferent while lower-status persons are required to be attentive with their gaze.

Loc. 2839-40 One nonverbal of disapproval too commonly seen in America is rolling of the eyes. This is a sign of disrespect and must not be tolerated, especially from subordinates, staff, or children.

Loc. 2901-2 If you are confused as to the meaning of a facial expression, reenact it and sense how it makes you feel. You will find this little trick may help you decipher what you just observed.

Loc. 2947-49 repeated studies begun in the 1980s show that most of us—including judges, attorneys, clinicians, police officers, FBI agents, politicians, teachers, mothers, fathers, and spouses—are no better than chance (fifty-fifty) when it comes to detecting deception