A great book that actually relates to far more than just how to interact using Web 2.0 tools. In fact it, many of the ideas can just as easily be applied to life in general. Not too bogged down with the specific tools and technology (as the authors say that is always changing anyway), the book draws out general points on how to successfully relate to others in a highly interconnected world.
Definitely a book for those who are trying to carve out a presence in such communities, plenty of encouragement and vision of where all this is heading.
Locn. 354-56 They (Trust Agents) operate under the assumption that everything they do will eventually be known online. Realizing they are unable to hide anything, they choose not to try. Instead, they leverage the way the Web connects us and ties our information together to help turn transparency into an asset for doing business.
Locn. 377-78 customers are one Google search away from the truth. Further, they join activist groups to stay informed about new practices, so they are often one step ahead of the people trying to profit from them.
Locn. 425-26 71 percent of 18- to 24-year-olds studied spend more than two hours online per day, compared to only 48 percent of the same group who spend two hours watching television.
Locn. 605-6 ACTION: Answer Whatever Questions You’re Willing to on Your Blog. Get Credit More Than Once.
Locn. 733-36 Don’t be better at following the guidelines and constraints that accompany a common label—be different and call yourself such. If the concept or category you create catches a foothold, you’re the first to mindshare. Let the rest of the world that follows be compared to you. Particularly in a world where power is often measured in links, this puts you in pole position.”
Locn. 791-93 When you conclude that talent, though not quite a myth, is certainly overrated, you start to realize that you never need to see yourself as below anyone. Instead, you should only believe that you don’t yet have the experience that person does, then find a way to get it.
Locn. 850-52 Playing Games Is Fun. Okay, business is business and work is work. But truly, if you don’t accept this detail, that games are meant to be fun, you’re probably reading the wrong book. Try Jim Collins’s Good to Great instead. Excellent book. The rest of us, let’s agree that if we can figure out a way that work can be fun, it just goes better for everyone involved.
Locn. 924-26 Comments and blog posts and articles found “in the wild” are likely to be a more accurate reflection of a customer’s opinion. You can do the same for yourself, for your business, for a product, and so on—that is, if people are talking about you.
Locn. 945-46 As Wayne Gretzky once said: “I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.” We try to do the same.
Locn. 1049-52 Hacking Life. An entire movement has sprung up around the notion of improving productivity and effectiveness by engaging in life hacking. How can you do things differently to make life go better? Examples range from ways to capture and process information, like David Allen’s Getting Things Done, to learning how to keep your e-mail in-box empty with Merlin Mann’s Inbox Zero Parenthacks.com. There are great web sites, such as Lifehacker .com and Parenthacks.com,
Locn. 1112-13 Do something. Try something small and finite, and then larger and finite, and then complex and finite. See what comes of it. It will soon become clear that failures are just as important as victories.
Locn. 1126-28 Understand that failure is an inevitable part of the game, but that the chance of success is much greater the more often you roll the dice. You shouldn’t fear it; you should embrace it.
Locn. 1283-85 The Importance of Being Human Gaining the trust of another requires you be competent and reliable. It also requires you to leave someone with a positive emotional impression, which is something the Web has the potential to do quickly and well.
Locn. 1292-93 YouTube has over 5 billion videos, one for almost every human on the planet.
Locn. 1318-28 T, of course, is trust, and all the other elements are what makes it happen): (C × R × I)/S = T C = credibility, or the signals people send out to show that they are who they claim to be and as good as they say they are. The higher this is, the more you can trust someone. R = reliability. The more they show up on time, the more you’ll trust them to do so in the future, for example. I = intimacy, one of the most powerful emotional factors in trust. The feeling you get from individuals is important, and it shouldn’t be discounted just because it’s emotional. Do you feel comfortable around them? Could you tell them a secret? That’s intimacy. S = self-orientation, and this is the only negative; the higher this is, the less we tend to trust a person. An example of a low self-orientation would be someone specifically recommending a better competitor instead of themselves. An example of high self-orientation would be the smarmy, self-interested company sycophant who’s always looking for a sale instead of making people feel comfortable.
Locn. 1452-53 Find friends along lines of mutual interests more than via geography or any other factor.
Locn. 1498-1503 Maybe what you want to know instead is, aren’t the people who spend a lot of time on Twitter, Facebook, and other social networks being antisocial? In a word, the answer is no. In the past few years, the people who have started using the Web have become closer and closer to the average person you know. The question may have been valid in 1996, but in 2009 and onward, the social aspects of the Web mean that the people interacting within these networks are interested in social activities. In fact, in a lot of cases, they talk online between in-person events and share pictures of stuff they did together.
Locn. 1555-58 People have very sophisticated bullshit sensors, and if not immediately, your intentions will be exposed later. But as long as you’re not considering only the bottom line, taking the first step to initiate an interaction says to people that you want to establish a relationship, that you’re interested in being involved. So step forward and take that step, over and over again. Trust us, as long as you have something to really offer, the benefit will come.
Locn. 1612-13 The better strategy for a trust agent is to develop relationships with up-and-coming individuals in a space. The time spent developing relationships with many up-and-comers beats time spent courting the few big names.
Locn. 1628-29 “givers get.” In the online world, being present and commenting on other people’s work and engaging in general connectedness are just as important as any direct marketing initiatives or other traditional business strategies.
Locn. 1656 Leave 10 comments today and then 10 tomorrow, even if some are just thank-you notes.
Locn. 1791-93 If you take one lesson away from this chapter, take this: Don’t be That Guy. We don’t mind companies in our space, and we need good people working with us, but we can’t stand another one of those people trying to sell us stuff. We’re sick of it, and so is everyone else.
Locn. 1828-29 There’s a programmer’s saying that “the lazy ones are usually the best.” It may seem counterintuitive, but it’s true. Programmers want a little bit of code to do a lot of work, so the lazy programmers usually do the most thinking and the least writing.
Locn. 1915-18 Whatever your industry, it is important to meet a lot of people online, if only superficially. You can do this by connecting with them through tools like Facebook and Twitter or by commenting on their sites. Then find ways to meet face-to-face—whether at industry conferences or in one-on-one meetings—to cement those relationships. By doing so, you make yourself more “real” than the competition
Locn. 2006-7 If you’re thinking somewhere in your head that you need permission to learn how to start building the ability to leverage the resources for your corporation, hand this book to someone else. You’ve already lost the game.
Locn. 2048-58 Here are just a few tools of the trade for a time-starved trust agent: • Spinvox.com: Why listen to voice mail when you can have it transposed and sent to you as text? You can read faster than you can listen. • Jott.com: Speak into your phone and you can receive an email of your transcribed words. Easy leverage. • Kayak.com: Check several airlines and hotels at the same time for prices from a single screen. • SMS: Use this for e-mail. It makes the message and response more concise. It cuts down e-mail clutter. • Podcasts: As learning tools, we can consume these during travel/transit. • RSS reader: Instead of going to blogs directly, we read them quickly via an RSS reader. • Keyboard shortcuts: For most every application we use, we learn the keyboard shortcuts. This time does add up.
Locn. 2097-99 The trick is to come up with something you could tell people at a party, to be able to differentiate between what you think is interesting about what you do and what the average person thinks is interesting.
Locn. 2141-43 The key lesson here is to spend as much time doing what you and your company do best and to delegate everything else that you can. This is true both because it’s not profitable to do everything yourself and because, let’s be honest, you’re not that great at all those other tasks, are you?
Locn. 2173-77 The real secret of the most successful people on the Web is that they are always trying new things. A lot of the time it’s just for fun, because they are passionate about it and like to see how things work. But the benefit is that it’s there for business, too. Early adopters always know more about what’s coming up, and that leads to advantage, over and over again. The company that doesn’t see how it should innovate will always lose over the one that knows how, because it leverages that information to dominate its marketplace. And so should you.
Locn. 2369 As you now know, if you have no Google results, you don’t exist.
Locn. 2444-45 The process of finding new, exciting, and profitable information is difficult, precisely because popularity of any one piece of information reduces its value.
Locn. 2553-54 The value of bringing people in is the value of expanding the potential of the network overall. It’s a simple effect. It’s not far afield from Surowiecki’s Wisdom of Crowds, where having more than one voice adds to the experience.
Locn. 2551-52 People working in this space collaborate, they connect, they build business relationships without asking for outright favors or payment. Trust agents build networks, then build circles, and then include others in those circles.
Locn. 2569 try the one-sentence response: “How, exactly, did you want me to help with this?”
Locn. 2576-78 The rule of “multitouch” is important here. Send out small messages. Comment on blogs. Leave notes on Facebook or Flickr or wherever your community spends time. By reaching out and keeping relationships warm, opportunities flow more freely. If you’re not working to maintain your network, it dwindles and shrivels up from lack of use.
Locn. 2653 Six Tools for Reputation and Competition Management
1. Google Alerts:
2. Rank Checker:
3. Technorati:
4. Compete.com:
5. Twitter Grader:
6. Search.Twitter.com:
Locn. 2718-20 ACTION: Get LinkedIn Dust off your LinkedIn.com profile. Refresh it and start connecting to potential business partners, prospects, and friends.
Locn. 2794-96 There’s a tidal wave coming, and it’s made of people. Some will run and some will ignore it, but others will be ready and find a way to roll with it. Those who win are the ones who are always prepared; while some people are hiding their heads in the sand, the winners are anticipating change and finding a ton of opportunities.
Locn. 2825-27 Our first impressions of you strongly resonate with us on an emotional level, so they stick around for a while (and they stay on the Web forever). Take some time to think about how you want to do this before doing it, because that impression will last.
Locn. 2969-71 It’s better to ignore some things than to argue back, because you cannot change people’s minds about everything, and you can’t be everyone’s friend. You’ll try your hardest to help, put in a lot of hours trying to make things right, but at some point, it just ain’t worth it. Some people will never be happy.
Locn. 2984-85 When a customer complains about something, follow the three A’s: Acknowledge, Apologize, Act.
Locn. 3041-42 Tara Hunt, author of The Whuffie Factor, calls this “throwing sheep,” because it’s fun and seemingly unproductive, but translates into a deeper sense of belonging.
Locn. 3213-15 reliability is one of the easiest ways to differentiate yourself. Be on time perpetually for your work, your meetings, and your emails. If you can’t be on time, tell people early, not at the last minute. And whatever the case, offer constant updates as to your progress instead of long periods of (virtual) absence. You’ll have already beaten out 75 percent of the competition.
Locn. 3648 No matter what the situation, in improv the intention is always “yes, and.” Understanding improvisational comedy has made an actual business difference in our lives. One great book on the subject is Improv Wisdom, by Patricia Ryan Madson. The lessons put forth in that book might very well help you understand how improv applies to being a trust agent, and how that might help with your business.
Locn. 3680-84 So if you were to retain one piece of information, one tip, about the social side of trust, it should be this: You need to be liked, and you start becoming likable by being worthy of being liked. Be kind. Be patient. Be humble, on time, and generous. Be that person you would like to be friends with. Likability and the related trait, intimacy, is one of the biggest factors in trust, and it’s also one of the easiest to develop with people online. So work on that first with people, before you try to create transactions or take things further. It makes a world of difference.
Locn. 3803-5 Be helpful. Just for the sake of doing it, be helpful. It’s the act that keeps on giving. Since so many people are in it for them, this one idea is worth more than you’d imagine. Doing very simple things without the emphasis on any kind of quid pro quo makes it much more meaningful, and the ways you can do this are endless.
Locn. 3843-45 At this point, the web sites people pay the most attention to (besides search engines) are YouTube, Facebook, MySpace, and primarily the social networks. They’ve surpassed porn as the types of sites people spend the most time using on the Internet (we know, we were shocked, too).
Locn. 3872-76 Often with experimentation, the downside is very small, while the possible reward is very large. So trying something new could do you worlds of good. You could hit upon small, new ways to connect or whole worlds of benefit and profit. So give it a shot. Try something new today. It may just revolutionize what you do. Trust us.
Tuesday 11 January 2011
Monday 10 January 2011
The Four Obsessions of an Extraordinary Executive: A Leadership Fable (Patrick M. Lencioni)
I'm not too much of a fan of the books that attempt to package a training message or technique into a story or fable. At least the read time on this was not too long - around 3 hours. Anyway it was the first title in a book club started where I work so I will be interested to hear what the rest of the group thought.
The four key lessons were:
Build and maintain a cohesive leadership team
Create organisational clarity (Identity, Purpose, Values, Goals, Roles, Responsibilities)
Overcommunicate (repeat, repeat, repeat the identity and direction)
Reinforce through human systems
Locn. 1055-56 DISCIPLINE ONE: BUILD AND MAINTAIN A COHESIVE LEADERSHIP TEAM.
Locn. 1063 DISCIPLINE TWO: CREATE ORGANIZATIONAL CLARITY.
Locn. 1151 The third discipline is ‘Over-communicate the identity and direction.’”
Locn. 1154-55 in order to communicate something adequately, it has to be communicated so many times that the people doing the communication think they’re beating a dead horse.”
Locn. 1277-78 DISCIPLINE FOUR: REINFORCE ORGANIZATIONAL CLARITY THROUGH HUMAN SYSTEMS.
Locn. 1280-83 BE COHESIVE. BE CLEAR. OVER-COMMUNICATE. REINFORCE.
Locn. 1335-37 Great idea for a simplified appraisal review: “The questions were, ‘What did you accomplish?’ ‘What will you accomplish next?’ ‘How can you improve?’” “That’s it?” “Not quite. The question on the back was, ‘Are you embracing the values?’”
Locn. 1474-75 Finally, cohesive teams fight. But they fight about issues, not personalities. Most important, when they are done fighting, they have an amazing capacity to move on to the next issue, with no residual feelings.
Locn. 1476-78 In those instances when a fight gets out of hand and drifts over the line into personal territory—and this inevitably happens—the entire team works to make things right. No one walks away from a meeting harboring unspoken resentment.
Locn. 1500-1503 Personal histories. Although it might sound like a “touchyfeely” exercise, I have found that it is remarkably helpful for members of a leadership team to spend time talking about their backgrounds. People who understand one another’s personal philosophies, family histories, educational experiences, hobbies, and interests are far more likely to work well together than those who do not.
Ideas for ways to clarify the identity:
Locn. 1579-85 • Why does the organization exist, and what difference does it make in the world? • What behavioral values are irreplaceable and fundamental? • What business are we in, and against whom do we compete? • How does our approach differ from that of our competition? • What are our goals this month, this quarter, this year, next year, five years from now? • Who has to do what for us to achieve our goals this month, this quarter, this year, next year, five years from now?
Locn. 1618-20 think about the two or three employees whom they believe best embody what is good about the firm. These would be people whom they would gladly clone again and again, regardless of their responsibility or level of experience. Then I ask them to write down one or two adjectives that describe the employees they selected.
Locn. 1621-24 identify the one or two employees who have left the firm, or should leave the firm, because of their behavior or performance. Coming up with these names never seems to take long. Again, I ask them to write down one or two adjectives that describe the people they chose. Almost without fail, the same adjectives appear on most team members’ lists, and these often embody the antithesis of the company’s fundamental values.
Locn. 1734-35 effective communication requires repetition in order to take hold in an organization. Some experts say that only after hearing a message six times does a person begin to believe and internalize it.
Locn. 1773-74 take five minutes at the end of staff meetings and ask the question, “What do we need to communicate to our people?”
Locn. 1827-30 Decisions about bonuses and other compensation are based on the same criteria used in hiring and managing performance. This helps employees understand that the best way to maximize their personal rewards is to act in a way that contributes to the company’s success, as defined by organizational clarity.
Locn. 1861-63 there is no substitute for discipline. No amount of intellectual prowess or personal charisma can make up for an inability to identify a few simple things and stick to them over time.
The four key lessons were:
Build and maintain a cohesive leadership team
Create organisational clarity (Identity, Purpose, Values, Goals, Roles, Responsibilities)
Overcommunicate (repeat, repeat, repeat the identity and direction)
Reinforce through human systems
Locn. 1055-56 DISCIPLINE ONE: BUILD AND MAINTAIN A COHESIVE LEADERSHIP TEAM.
Locn. 1063 DISCIPLINE TWO: CREATE ORGANIZATIONAL CLARITY.
Locn. 1151 The third discipline is ‘Over-communicate the identity and direction.’”
Locn. 1154-55 in order to communicate something adequately, it has to be communicated so many times that the people doing the communication think they’re beating a dead horse.”
Locn. 1277-78 DISCIPLINE FOUR: REINFORCE ORGANIZATIONAL CLARITY THROUGH HUMAN SYSTEMS.
Locn. 1280-83 BE COHESIVE. BE CLEAR. OVER-COMMUNICATE. REINFORCE.
Locn. 1335-37 Great idea for a simplified appraisal review: “The questions were, ‘What did you accomplish?’ ‘What will you accomplish next?’ ‘How can you improve?’” “That’s it?” “Not quite. The question on the back was, ‘Are you embracing the values?’”
Locn. 1474-75 Finally, cohesive teams fight. But they fight about issues, not personalities. Most important, when they are done fighting, they have an amazing capacity to move on to the next issue, with no residual feelings.
Locn. 1476-78 In those instances when a fight gets out of hand and drifts over the line into personal territory—and this inevitably happens—the entire team works to make things right. No one walks away from a meeting harboring unspoken resentment.
Locn. 1500-1503 Personal histories. Although it might sound like a “touchyfeely” exercise, I have found that it is remarkably helpful for members of a leadership team to spend time talking about their backgrounds. People who understand one another’s personal philosophies, family histories, educational experiences, hobbies, and interests are far more likely to work well together than those who do not.
Ideas for ways to clarify the identity:
Locn. 1579-85 • Why does the organization exist, and what difference does it make in the world? • What behavioral values are irreplaceable and fundamental? • What business are we in, and against whom do we compete? • How does our approach differ from that of our competition? • What are our goals this month, this quarter, this year, next year, five years from now? • Who has to do what for us to achieve our goals this month, this quarter, this year, next year, five years from now?
Locn. 1618-20 think about the two or three employees whom they believe best embody what is good about the firm. These would be people whom they would gladly clone again and again, regardless of their responsibility or level of experience. Then I ask them to write down one or two adjectives that describe the employees they selected.
Locn. 1621-24 identify the one or two employees who have left the firm, or should leave the firm, because of their behavior or performance. Coming up with these names never seems to take long. Again, I ask them to write down one or two adjectives that describe the people they chose. Almost without fail, the same adjectives appear on most team members’ lists, and these often embody the antithesis of the company’s fundamental values.
Locn. 1734-35 effective communication requires repetition in order to take hold in an organization. Some experts say that only after hearing a message six times does a person begin to believe and internalize it.
Locn. 1773-74 take five minutes at the end of staff meetings and ask the question, “What do we need to communicate to our people?”
Locn. 1827-30 Decisions about bonuses and other compensation are based on the same criteria used in hiring and managing performance. This helps employees understand that the best way to maximize their personal rewards is to act in a way that contributes to the company’s success, as defined by organizational clarity.
Locn. 1861-63 there is no substitute for discipline. No amount of intellectual prowess or personal charisma can make up for an inability to identify a few simple things and stick to them over time.
How to Talk to Anyone (Leil Lowndes)
Some ideas were new in this book but mainly it was a rehash of the standard techniques you can find elsewhere. Some of them I pleasantly found I have been using for years - so it can't all be bad.
Locn. 429-35 TECHNIQUE #1 THE FLOODING SMILE Don't flash an immediate smile when you greet someone, as though anyone who walked into your line of sight would be the beneficiary. Instead, look at the other person's face for a second. Pause. Soak in their persona. Then let a big, warm, responsive smile flood over your face and overflow into your eyes. It will engulf the recipient like a warm wave. The split-second delay convinces people your flooding smile is genuine and only for them.
Locn. 694-700 TECHNIQUE #5 THE BIG-BABY PIVOT Give everyone you meet The Big-Baby Pivot. The instant the two of you are introduced, reward your new acquaintance. Give the warm smile, the total-body turn, and the undivided attention you would give a tiny tyke who crawled up to your feet, turned a precious face up to yours, and beamed a big toothless grin. Pivoting 100 percent toward the new person shouts "I think you are very, very special."
Locn. 741-46 TECHNIQUE #6 HELLO OLD FRIEND When meeting someone, imagine he or she is an old friend (an old customer, an old beloved, or someone else you had great affection for). How sad, the vicissitudes of life tore you two asunder. But, holy mackerel, now the party (the meeting, the convention) has reunited you with your long-lost old friend!
Locn. 830-35 TECHNIQUE #7 LIMIT THE FIDGET Whenever your conversation really counts, let your nose itch, your ear tingle, or your foot prickle. Do not fidget, twitch, wiggle, squirm, or scratch. And above all, keep your paws away from your puss. Hand motions near your face and all fidgeting can give your listener the gut feeling you're fibbing.
Locn. 1068-70 Before opening your mouth, take a "voice sample" of your listener to detect his or her state of mind. Take a "psychic photograph" of the expression to see if your listener looks buoyant, bored, or blitzed. If you ever want to bring people around to your thoughts, you must match their mood and voice tone, if only for a moment.
Locn. 1308 No man would listen to you talk if he didn't know it was his turn next.
Locn. 1371-77 TECHNIQUE #17 NEVER THE NAKED INTRODUCTION When introducing people, don't throw out an unbaited hook and stand there grinning like a big clam, leaving the newlymets to flutter their fins and fish for a topic. Bait the conversational hook to get them in the swim of things. Then you're free to stay or float on to the next networking opportunity.
Locn. 1464-70 TECHNIQUE #19 THE SWIVELING SPOTLIGHT When you meet someone, imagine a giant revolving spotlight between you. When you're talking, the spotlight is on you. When the new person is speaking, it's shining on him or her. If you shine it brightly enough, the stranger will be blinded to the fact that you have hardly said a word about yourself. The longer you keep it shining away from you, the more interesting he or she finds you.
Locn. 1509-13 TECHNIQUE #20 PARROTING Never be left speechless again. Like a parrot, simply repeat the last few words your conversation partner says. That puts the ball right back in his or her court, and then all you need to do is listen.
Locn. 1920-28 TECHNIQUE #27 KILL THE QUICK "ME, TOO!" Whenever you have something in common with someone, the longer you wait to reveal it, the more moved (and impressed) he or she will be. You emerge as a confident big cat, not a lonely little stray, hungry for quick connection with a stranger. P.S.: Don't wait too long to reveal your shared interest or it will seem like you're being tricky.
Locn. 1987-94 TECHNIQUE #28 COMM-YOU-NICATION Start every appropriate sentence with you. It immediately grabs your listener's attention. It gets a more positive response because it pushes the pride button and saves them having to translate it into "me" terms. When you sprinkle you as liberally as salt and pepper throughout your conversation, your listeners find it an irresistible spice.
Locn. 2112-15 speakers do. They collect bon mots they can use in a variety of situations—most especially to scrape egg off their faces when something unexpected happens. Many speakers use author's and speaker's agent Lilly Walters's face-saver lines from her book, What to
Locn. 2153-62 TECHNIQUE #31 USE JAWSMITH'S JIVE Whether you're standing behind a podium facing thousands or behind the barbecue grill facing your family, you'll move, amuse, and motivate with the same skills. Read speakers' books to cull quotations, pull pearls of wisdom, and get gems to tickle their funny bones. Find a few bon mots to let casually slide off your tongue on chosen occasions. If you want to be notable, dream up a crazy quotable. Make 'em rhyme, make 'em clever, or make 'em funny. Above all, make 'em relevant.
Locn. 2277-83 TECHNIQUE #35 THE BROKEN RECORD Whenever someone persists in questioning you on an unwelcome subject, simply repeat your original response. Use precisely the same words in precisely the same tone of voice. Hearing it again usually quiets them down. If your rude interrogator hangs on like a leech, your next repetition never fails to flick them off.
Locn. 2356-61 TECHNIQUE #37 NEVER THE NAKED THANK YOU Never let the phrase "thank you" stand alone. From A to Z, always follow it with for: from "Thank you for asking" to "Thank you for zipping me up."
Locn. 3131-36 TECHNIQUE #49 THE PREMATURE WE Create the sensation of intimacy with someone even if you've met just moments before. Scramble the signals in their psyche by skipping conversational levels one and two and cutting right to levels three and four. Elicit intimate feelings by using the magic words we, us, and our.
Locn. 3676-80 TECHNIQUE #61 NAME SHOWER People perk up when they hear their own name. Use it more often on the phone than you would in person to keep their attention. Your caller's name re-creates the eye contact, the caress, you might give in person.
Locn. 3745-51 TECHNIQUE #62 "OH WOW, IT'S YOU!" Don't answer the phone with an "I'm just sooo happy all the time" attitude. Answer warmly, crisply, and professionally. Then, after you hear who is calling, let a huge smile of happiness engulf your entire face and spill over into your voice. You make your caller feel as though your giant warm fuzzy smile is reserved for him or her.
Locn. 3240-45 TECHNIQUE #51 GRAPEVINE GLORY A compliment one hears is never as exciting as the one he overhears. A priceless way to praise is not by telephone, not by telegraph, but by tell-a-friend. This way you escape possible suspicion that you are an apple-polishing, bootlicking, egg-sucking, back-scratching sycophant trying to win brownie points. You also leave recipients with the happy fantasy that you are telling the whole world about their greatness.
Locn. 3858-64 TECHNIQUE #65 WHAT COLOR IS YOUR TIME? No matter how urgent you think your call, always begin by asking the person about timing. Either use the What Color Is Your Time? device or simply ask, "Is this a convenient time for you to talk?" When you ask about timing first, you'll never smash your footprints right in the middle of your telephone partner's sands of time. You'll never get a "No!" just because your timing wasn't right.
Locn. 4355-61 TECHNIQUE #75 TRACKING Like an air-traffic controller, track the tiniest details of your conversation partners' lives. Refer to them in your conversation like a major news story. It creates a powerful sense of intimacy. When you invoke the last major or minor event in anyone's life, it confirms the deep conviction that he or she is an old-style hero around whom the world revolves. And people love you for recognizing their stardom.
Locn. 4908-12 TECHNIQUE #87 ECHO THE EMO Facts speak. Emotions shout. Whenever you need facts from people about an emotional situation, let them emote. Hear their facts but empathize like mad with their emotions. Smearing on the emo is often the only way to calm their emotional storm.
Locn. 5154-57 Remember, repeating an action makes a habit. Your habits create your character. And your character is your destiny. May success be your destiny.
Locn. 429-35 TECHNIQUE #1 THE FLOODING SMILE Don't flash an immediate smile when you greet someone, as though anyone who walked into your line of sight would be the beneficiary. Instead, look at the other person's face for a second. Pause. Soak in their persona. Then let a big, warm, responsive smile flood over your face and overflow into your eyes. It will engulf the recipient like a warm wave. The split-second delay convinces people your flooding smile is genuine and only for them.
Locn. 694-700 TECHNIQUE #5 THE BIG-BABY PIVOT Give everyone you meet The Big-Baby Pivot. The instant the two of you are introduced, reward your new acquaintance. Give the warm smile, the total-body turn, and the undivided attention you would give a tiny tyke who crawled up to your feet, turned a precious face up to yours, and beamed a big toothless grin. Pivoting 100 percent toward the new person shouts "I think you are very, very special."
Locn. 741-46 TECHNIQUE #6 HELLO OLD FRIEND When meeting someone, imagine he or she is an old friend (an old customer, an old beloved, or someone else you had great affection for). How sad, the vicissitudes of life tore you two asunder. But, holy mackerel, now the party (the meeting, the convention) has reunited you with your long-lost old friend!
Locn. 830-35 TECHNIQUE #7 LIMIT THE FIDGET Whenever your conversation really counts, let your nose itch, your ear tingle, or your foot prickle. Do not fidget, twitch, wiggle, squirm, or scratch. And above all, keep your paws away from your puss. Hand motions near your face and all fidgeting can give your listener the gut feeling you're fibbing.
Locn. 1068-70 Before opening your mouth, take a "voice sample" of your listener to detect his or her state of mind. Take a "psychic photograph" of the expression to see if your listener looks buoyant, bored, or blitzed. If you ever want to bring people around to your thoughts, you must match their mood and voice tone, if only for a moment.
Locn. 1308 No man would listen to you talk if he didn't know it was his turn next.
Locn. 1371-77 TECHNIQUE #17 NEVER THE NAKED INTRODUCTION When introducing people, don't throw out an unbaited hook and stand there grinning like a big clam, leaving the newlymets to flutter their fins and fish for a topic. Bait the conversational hook to get them in the swim of things. Then you're free to stay or float on to the next networking opportunity.
Locn. 1464-70 TECHNIQUE #19 THE SWIVELING SPOTLIGHT When you meet someone, imagine a giant revolving spotlight between you. When you're talking, the spotlight is on you. When the new person is speaking, it's shining on him or her. If you shine it brightly enough, the stranger will be blinded to the fact that you have hardly said a word about yourself. The longer you keep it shining away from you, the more interesting he or she finds you.
Locn. 1509-13 TECHNIQUE #20 PARROTING Never be left speechless again. Like a parrot, simply repeat the last few words your conversation partner says. That puts the ball right back in his or her court, and then all you need to do is listen.
Locn. 1920-28 TECHNIQUE #27 KILL THE QUICK "ME, TOO!" Whenever you have something in common with someone, the longer you wait to reveal it, the more moved (and impressed) he or she will be. You emerge as a confident big cat, not a lonely little stray, hungry for quick connection with a stranger. P.S.: Don't wait too long to reveal your shared interest or it will seem like you're being tricky.
Locn. 1987-94 TECHNIQUE #28 COMM-YOU-NICATION Start every appropriate sentence with you. It immediately grabs your listener's attention. It gets a more positive response because it pushes the pride button and saves them having to translate it into "me" terms. When you sprinkle you as liberally as salt and pepper throughout your conversation, your listeners find it an irresistible spice.
Locn. 2112-15 speakers do. They collect bon mots they can use in a variety of situations—most especially to scrape egg off their faces when something unexpected happens. Many speakers use author's and speaker's agent Lilly Walters's face-saver lines from her book, What to
Locn. 2153-62 TECHNIQUE #31 USE JAWSMITH'S JIVE Whether you're standing behind a podium facing thousands or behind the barbecue grill facing your family, you'll move, amuse, and motivate with the same skills. Read speakers' books to cull quotations, pull pearls of wisdom, and get gems to tickle their funny bones. Find a few bon mots to let casually slide off your tongue on chosen occasions. If you want to be notable, dream up a crazy quotable. Make 'em rhyme, make 'em clever, or make 'em funny. Above all, make 'em relevant.
Locn. 2277-83 TECHNIQUE #35 THE BROKEN RECORD Whenever someone persists in questioning you on an unwelcome subject, simply repeat your original response. Use precisely the same words in precisely the same tone of voice. Hearing it again usually quiets them down. If your rude interrogator hangs on like a leech, your next repetition never fails to flick them off.
Locn. 2356-61 TECHNIQUE #37 NEVER THE NAKED THANK YOU Never let the phrase "thank you" stand alone. From A to Z, always follow it with for: from "Thank you for asking" to "Thank you for zipping me up."
Locn. 3131-36 TECHNIQUE #49 THE PREMATURE WE Create the sensation of intimacy with someone even if you've met just moments before. Scramble the signals in their psyche by skipping conversational levels one and two and cutting right to levels three and four. Elicit intimate feelings by using the magic words we, us, and our.
Locn. 3676-80 TECHNIQUE #61 NAME SHOWER People perk up when they hear their own name. Use it more often on the phone than you would in person to keep their attention. Your caller's name re-creates the eye contact, the caress, you might give in person.
Locn. 3745-51 TECHNIQUE #62 "OH WOW, IT'S YOU!" Don't answer the phone with an "I'm just sooo happy all the time" attitude. Answer warmly, crisply, and professionally. Then, after you hear who is calling, let a huge smile of happiness engulf your entire face and spill over into your voice. You make your caller feel as though your giant warm fuzzy smile is reserved for him or her.
Locn. 3240-45 TECHNIQUE #51 GRAPEVINE GLORY A compliment one hears is never as exciting as the one he overhears. A priceless way to praise is not by telephone, not by telegraph, but by tell-a-friend. This way you escape possible suspicion that you are an apple-polishing, bootlicking, egg-sucking, back-scratching sycophant trying to win brownie points. You also leave recipients with the happy fantasy that you are telling the whole world about their greatness.
Locn. 3858-64 TECHNIQUE #65 WHAT COLOR IS YOUR TIME? No matter how urgent you think your call, always begin by asking the person about timing. Either use the What Color Is Your Time? device or simply ask, "Is this a convenient time for you to talk?" When you ask about timing first, you'll never smash your footprints right in the middle of your telephone partner's sands of time. You'll never get a "No!" just because your timing wasn't right.
Locn. 4355-61 TECHNIQUE #75 TRACKING Like an air-traffic controller, track the tiniest details of your conversation partners' lives. Refer to them in your conversation like a major news story. It creates a powerful sense of intimacy. When you invoke the last major or minor event in anyone's life, it confirms the deep conviction that he or she is an old-style hero around whom the world revolves. And people love you for recognizing their stardom.
Locn. 4908-12 TECHNIQUE #87 ECHO THE EMO Facts speak. Emotions shout. Whenever you need facts from people about an emotional situation, let them emote. Hear their facts but empathize like mad with their emotions. Smearing on the emo is often the only way to calm their emotional storm.
Locn. 5154-57 Remember, repeating an action makes a habit. Your habits create your character. And your character is your destiny. May success be your destiny.
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